When he wakes up the next time, the sun is high in the air and the morning chill has faded into rare autumn warmth, and Yamapi stretches the length of the bed, sighing contently as he feels something in his chest. Calm, rested, happy, those kinds of feelings. He’s forgotten how wonderful those feelings are. He turns around to grasp for Jin, only to find the other’s not there. He feels his heart sink with, what is it, confusion, anxiety, as that spot of the bed is cold under his touch. Jin must have gotten out a long time ago. Yamapi glances at the clock; it’s barely after noon, and he knows Jin has no work today.
He throws the covers off him and pulls on some clothes, not really caring, and stumbles out the door. Jin’s no where in the apartment. There’s no evidence of him having gotten up to make breakfast or anything, either. Worried that maybe something has happened to him, Yamapi pulls on his coat and shoves his feet into his shoes and heads outside. He doesn’t know where he’s going, but he knows he can’t sit still at home. What a guardian angel he is, losing the one person he’s supposed to watch immediately after—
Yamapi stops in his tracks, eyes widening as he realizes what happened. Of course Jin left, why wouldn’t he? Yamapi would, too, had he been in Jin’s position. Yamapi wasn’t real, he was an angel, he wasn’t even human, of course Jin would be freaked out. Of course Jin would leave. Yamapi must have been completely delusional to have thought otherwise. Jin left and he wouldn’t go back until he knew Yamapi was no longer there and Yamapi lives to protect Jin, to make sure he’s happy and safe, and Yamapi will do whatever he needs to to ensure that. Even if it means leaving himself.
Yamapi can’t move, thousands of feeling — those horrible feelings he never missed as an angel — overwhelming every never in his body. He doesn’t know what to do now, where to go, how-how could he even survive without Jin? It was unfathomable, it was—
“You are so stupid,” a familiar voice says and Yamapi turns to find Tegoshi standing before him, arms crossed over his chest and looking unpleased.
“What? What’s happening?” Yamapi demands desperately. “I-I can feel. I can taste and sleep and—”
“You turned human,” Tegoshi interrupts easily.
Yamapi’s eyes widen. “Really? I-I’m human again?”
Tegoshi nods, amused. “Yes.”
“But how? Is that even possible?”
“Of course it’s possible, it just happened to you.”
“But why?”
Tegoshi sighs. “You love him. He makes you feel again and those feelings changed you.”
“W-Wait, you said anything about l-love?” Yamapi exclaims, feels heat sweep up in his cheeks, but Tegoshi only smirks knowingly.
“I’m God, remember? I know how you feel,” Tegoshi says. “If you don’t believe me, then what else do you call this?”
Yamapi shakes his head. “I-I have no idea,” he says. “So, I-I’m no longer an angel?”
“Of course not. Where do you think the term fallen angels came from? You’ve fallen, and you’re human now. This is your second chance.”
“But’s he’s left me,” Yamapi says without thinking. He feels his heart clench painfully in his chest.
Tegoshi rolls his eyes. “You lose all your faith when you turn back human,” he says with a shake of his head and before Yamapi can ask what he means, he’s gone.
It it were possible, Yamapi feels even more confused now. He was human again, but with no where to go, no one to see, nothing to do. He was human with another chance, a chance to be with Jin. But Jin. Jin was gone and right now, Yamapi would much rather be dead again.
He’s so wrapped up in his thoughts that he doesn’t realize how he’s being shoved into rudely by passerby, so engrossed in his vast emotions that he stumbles and starts walking without looking, and it’s not until the honks of horns and screeching tires and a familiar warmth grabbing his arm and pulling, does he come back to reality with a jolt.
The noises scream in his ears as if on surround sound, and his heart races as he’s pulled to his feet. Yamapi feels his throat go dry when he finds Jin’s face close to his own.
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branchandroot
PART 7
Date: 2008-12-02 06:12 am (UTC)He throws the covers off him and pulls on some clothes, not really caring, and stumbles out the door. Jin’s no where in the apartment. There’s no evidence of him having gotten up to make breakfast or anything, either. Worried that maybe something has happened to him, Yamapi pulls on his coat and shoves his feet into his shoes and heads outside. He doesn’t know where he’s going, but he knows he can’t sit still at home. What a guardian angel he is, losing the one person he’s supposed to watch immediately after—
Yamapi stops in his tracks, eyes widening as he realizes what happened. Of course Jin left, why wouldn’t he? Yamapi would, too, had he been in Jin’s position. Yamapi wasn’t real, he was an angel, he wasn’t even human, of course Jin would be freaked out. Of course Jin would leave. Yamapi must have been completely delusional to have thought otherwise. Jin left and he wouldn’t go back until he knew Yamapi was no longer there and Yamapi lives to protect Jin, to make sure he’s happy and safe, and Yamapi will do whatever he needs to to ensure that. Even if it means leaving himself.
Yamapi can’t move, thousands of feeling — those horrible feelings he never missed as an angel — overwhelming every never in his body. He doesn’t know what to do now, where to go, how-how could he even survive without Jin? It was unfathomable, it was—
“You are so stupid,” a familiar voice says and Yamapi turns to find Tegoshi standing before him, arms crossed over his chest and looking unpleased.
“What? What’s happening?” Yamapi demands desperately. “I-I can feel. I can taste and sleep and—”
“You turned human,” Tegoshi interrupts easily.
Yamapi’s eyes widen. “Really? I-I’m human again?”
Tegoshi nods, amused. “Yes.”
“But how? Is that even possible?”
“Of course it’s possible, it just happened to you.”
“But why?”
Tegoshi sighs. “You love him. He makes you feel again and those feelings changed you.”
“W-Wait, you said anything about l-love?” Yamapi exclaims, feels heat sweep up in his cheeks, but Tegoshi only smirks knowingly.
“I’m God, remember? I know how you feel,” Tegoshi says. “If you don’t believe me, then what else do you call this?”
Yamapi shakes his head. “I-I have no idea,” he says. “So, I-I’m no longer an angel?”
“Of course not. Where do you think the term fallen angels came from? You’ve fallen, and you’re human now. This is your second chance.”
“But’s he’s left me,” Yamapi says without thinking. He feels his heart clench painfully in his chest.
Tegoshi rolls his eyes. “You lose all your faith when you turn back human,” he says with a shake of his head and before Yamapi can ask what he means, he’s gone.
It it were possible, Yamapi feels even more confused now. He was human again, but with no where to go, no one to see, nothing to do. He was human with another chance, a chance to be with Jin. But Jin. Jin was gone and right now, Yamapi would much rather be dead again.
He’s so wrapped up in his thoughts that he doesn’t realize how he’s being shoved into rudely by passerby, so engrossed in his vast emotions that he stumbles and starts walking without looking, and it’s not until the honks of horns and screeching tires and a familiar warmth grabbing his arm and pulling, does he come back to reality with a jolt.
The noises scream in his ears as if on surround sound, and his heart races as he’s pulled to his feet. Yamapi feels his throat go dry when he finds Jin’s face close to his own.