Yamapi remembers the exact moment he'd fallen in love with Jin. It had been 2 a.m., February 12th, and he'd been 16 years old. There wasn't anything special about February 12th, or 2 a.m., or anything at all. It had just been a normal night between two teenage boys, huddled together under blankets and swapping ridiculously exaggerated, made up stories about how their girlfriends had let them do this and that. Jin knows he's faking--Yamapi doesn't even have a girlfriend, hasn't liked girls since middle school if he were to be totally honest with himself. Of course, he hadn't told Jin about that (Jin already thinks he's weird for being single all the time, but Yamapi just claims it's because there are always too many girls vying for his attention, and he can't choose just one), but Jin doesn't seem to mind, giggling like the dork he is as he tries to think of something even more elaborate.
"She let me have sex with her once," Jin says eventually, because at 16 years old, sex is the dirtiest thing they can think of. Yamapi bolts upright, narrowing his eyes at Jin, who simply smiles back at him in response. Jin's never played the 'sex' card before, and they've done this game a thousand times (because really, they're teenage boys, what else are they supposed to talk about?). Of course, none of Jin's previous girlfriends would have let him touch them with a ten-foot pole, but this one. Yamapi's seen this one, and really, she just might. He'd walked in on them making out before, and from what he'd seen, he really, really thinks she might.
"I call bullshit," Yamapi says anyway, mostly because he doesn't want to believe it's true. There's no way his best friend would have had sex without calling him right away afterward, anyway. "You wouldn't have sex with her. She's not pretty enough."
Jin holds his gaze for so long that Yamapi almost wants to squirm under the scrutiny. "I don't know," he says eventually, his tone nonchalant. "I mean, I'd sleep with you, if you were a girl. My standards aren't that high."
And that, that's what does it. That one little comment surprises Yamapi so much that he can't even register the playful insult. It sends a pulse through his body that he doesn't understand, a strange tug at his heart that he's never felt before. "You would?" he asks, before he can stop himself. Before he remembers Jin doesn't know about him. Jin gives him an odd look.
"Uh, maybe? I don't know, you're my best friend, Pi. That would be weird."
Unsure if he feels relieved or disappointed, Yamapi nods, lying back down. "Yeah," he repeats softly. "It would be weird." Except when he dreams about it that night, it's anything but.
It haunts him for a few months, but Yamapi knows he's never going to bring it up. Jin's girlfriends come and go, some pretty, some shy, some bold. Yamapi mulls over Jin's words countless times, analyzing and reanalyzing everything--he thinks about them, their relationship, the way his skin tingles a little every time Jin brushes past him. He considers the way he's caught himself staring at Jin more than once, watching him suck on his lip in concentration, noticing his hair fall in his face when he's sprawled out, asleep. But the consequences scare him too much, and he knows nothing will come out of it anyway, so Yamapi firmly pushes any thoughts like those away, and moves on.
He forgets about it, for a long time. There's still that... that feeling, there, that things are a little bit different between them. But eventually, it gets natural. If his eyes linger on Jin's frame a little longer than they should, it doesn't mean anything. If he can't relax when Jin's pressed a little too close to him on the couch, it's nothing out of the ordinary. And if Jin ever thinks anything's off, he doesn't mention it, and they go on with their friendship like nothing's ever different.
alfkashflkh this is lame, sorry
"She let me have sex with her once," Jin says eventually, because at 16 years old, sex is the dirtiest thing they can think of. Yamapi bolts upright, narrowing his eyes at Jin, who simply smiles back at him in response. Jin's never played the 'sex' card before, and they've done this game a thousand times (because really, they're teenage boys, what else are they supposed to talk about?). Of course, none of Jin's previous girlfriends would have let him touch them with a ten-foot pole, but this one. Yamapi's seen this one, and really, she just might. He'd walked in on them making out before, and from what he'd seen, he really, really thinks she might.
"I call bullshit," Yamapi says anyway, mostly because he doesn't want to believe it's true. There's no way his best friend would have had sex without calling him right away afterward, anyway. "You wouldn't have sex with her. She's not pretty enough."
Jin holds his gaze for so long that Yamapi almost wants to squirm under the scrutiny. "I don't know," he says eventually, his tone nonchalant. "I mean, I'd sleep with you, if you were a girl. My standards aren't that high."
And that, that's what does it. That one little comment surprises Yamapi so much that he can't even register the playful insult. It sends a pulse through his body that he doesn't understand, a strange tug at his heart that he's never felt before. "You would?" he asks, before he can stop himself. Before he remembers Jin doesn't know about him. Jin gives him an odd look.
"Uh, maybe? I don't know, you're my best friend, Pi. That would be weird."
Unsure if he feels relieved or disappointed, Yamapi nods, lying back down. "Yeah," he repeats softly. "It would be weird." Except when he dreams about it that night, it's anything but.
It haunts him for a few months, but Yamapi knows he's never going to bring it up. Jin's girlfriends come and go, some pretty, some shy, some bold. Yamapi mulls over Jin's words countless times, analyzing and reanalyzing everything--he thinks about them, their relationship, the way his skin tingles a little every time Jin brushes past him. He considers the way he's caught himself staring at Jin more than once, watching him suck on his lip in concentration, noticing his hair fall in his face when he's sprawled out, asleep. But the consequences scare him too much, and he knows nothing will come out of it anyway, so Yamapi firmly pushes any thoughts like those away, and moves on.
He forgets about it, for a long time. There's still that... that feeling, there, that things are a little bit different between them. But eventually, it gets natural. If his eyes linger on Jin's frame a little longer than they should, it doesn't mean anything. If he can't relax when Jin's pressed a little too close to him on the couch, it's nothing out of the ordinary. And if Jin ever thinks anything's off, he doesn't mention it, and they go on with their friendship like nothing's ever different.