Breakfast with Jin is the first time he's eaten a proper breakfast in his house in months. The waffles are a little too crisp and there's way too much syrup, but it's the best meal Yamapi's ever had. Jin eats like he's starving, and with a pang, Yamapi thinks of all the food he lets go to waste. He wonders if Jin even has a real job, or if prostitution is all he knows--all he's ever known.
"About the money," Jin starts again, when they're stuffed to the brim and five pounds heavier (at least, that's what it feels like). Jin's sprawled out in his chair, half-slumped with one leg propped up, but his expression betrays discomfort, and even embarrassment. "I didn't tell you the price or anything last night, and I know you come visit my street a lot, so if you--if you want to wait a little bit, then it's cool. I don't need it right away."
"Jin," Yamapi says slowly, awkwardly. He feels ridiculously girly again, the way he had last night, when he saw Jin smile. But it's now or never. "How much, I mean. If I wanted to see you more often. If. Could we-"
"Do you want to date me?" Jin asks, cutting him off, and he sounds and looks so surprised that Yamapi actually blushes. He opens his mouth to deny it, to tell Jin to forget about it, but Jin's leaning forward a little, looking at him with hope clearly mixed in with astonishment.
"What if I did?" Yamapi returns, and it's a petulant mumble (and ENTIRELY not what he meant to say), but Jin hears him anyway, and he practically knocks his chair over with how fast he stands up. For a moment, Yamapi thinks he's going to storm out, that he's ruined any and all chances of Jin slipping into his life again. But Jin doesn't leave, staring at him with hard, suspicious eyes that make Yamapi feel even worse.
"You want to be my friend," Jin clarifies, circling around the table to stand beside Yamapi, staring at him with that same unwavering gaze he'd had back before they'd spoken. "But you want to sleep with me a lot, too. For free. Is that what you're saying?"
"If you need money, I'll pay you extra for last night," Yamapi says, instead of answering his question. It's not like he doesn't have the money. "You stayed, you made breakfast. You were--" he clears his throat, uncomfortable, "--you were really. Nice. Last night. You didn't have to be. You went out of your way to make me comfortable, and I don't mind paying you as much as you need."
"But you want to be my friend," Jin repeats, and Yamapi wonders why he seems stuck on that. "Why? Why are you asking me for this? Most guys just fuck and kick me out." Yamapi flinches at his words, and he doesn't try to hide it. He's silent for a little while, seriously contemplating telling Jin to forget about it, but he's already blurted out what he wants, he might as well go all the way. And if Jin wants to laugh at him and leave, well. It's not like he'd know what he'd be missing.
"I'm lonely," he confesses, and it's not what he meant to say, but the words pour out of him like they've been waiting for a chance to escape. "I'm always around all these people I don't know and I feel like I can never be myself and I miss that and you, Jin, you--" he takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself, his voice wavering with uncertainty he doesn't like to show. "Jin, you make me feel like myself again. And it's... it's been a long time since I've felt that way."
Jin's still staring at him when he finishes rambling, but when Yamapi glances up at him, he's met with a gaze that's more surprised than mistrusting. Jin doesn't look like he's ever been on the receiving end of such an outburst before, doesn't look like he knows what to do with it, and Yamapi feels even more embarrassed, if that's even possible. It feels like a century of uncomfortable silence passes between them, and Yamapi's about to throw out some excuse to retreat to his room again, but finally, Jin bends down, and surprises him with a kiss.
"I think you're overestimating me," Jin says as he pulls back, and when Yamapi meets his eyes, he feels like Jin's being honest with him. He really, really needs to stop putting so much trust into Jin, but there's something so clear and innocent in his eyes, he can't help it. "But... I guess if you really want to--"
part 7
"About the money," Jin starts again, when they're stuffed to the brim and five pounds heavier (at least, that's what it feels like). Jin's sprawled out in his chair, half-slumped with one leg propped up, but his expression betrays discomfort, and even embarrassment. "I didn't tell you the price or anything last night, and I know you come visit my street a lot, so if you--if you want to wait a little bit, then it's cool. I don't need it right away."
"Jin," Yamapi says slowly, awkwardly. He feels ridiculously girly again, the way he had last night, when he saw Jin smile. But it's now or never. "How much, I mean. If I wanted to see you more often. If. Could we-"
"Do you want to date me?" Jin asks, cutting him off, and he sounds and looks so surprised that Yamapi actually blushes. He opens his mouth to deny it, to tell Jin to forget about it, but Jin's leaning forward a little, looking at him with hope clearly mixed in with astonishment.
"What if I did?" Yamapi returns, and it's a petulant mumble (and ENTIRELY not what he meant to say), but Jin hears him anyway, and he practically knocks his chair over with how fast he stands up. For a moment, Yamapi thinks he's going to storm out, that he's ruined any and all chances of Jin slipping into his life again. But Jin doesn't leave, staring at him with hard, suspicious eyes that make Yamapi feel even worse.
"You want to be my friend," Jin clarifies, circling around the table to stand beside Yamapi, staring at him with that same unwavering gaze he'd had back before they'd spoken. "But you want to sleep with me a lot, too. For free. Is that what you're saying?"
"If you need money, I'll pay you extra for last night," Yamapi says, instead of answering his question. It's not like he doesn't have the money. "You stayed, you made breakfast. You were--" he clears his throat, uncomfortable, "--you were really. Nice. Last night. You didn't have to be. You went out of your way to make me comfortable, and I don't mind paying you as much as you need."
"But you want to be my friend," Jin repeats, and Yamapi wonders why he seems stuck on that. "Why? Why are you asking me for this? Most guys just fuck and kick me out." Yamapi flinches at his words, and he doesn't try to hide it. He's silent for a little while, seriously contemplating telling Jin to forget about it, but he's already blurted out what he wants, he might as well go all the way. And if Jin wants to laugh at him and leave, well. It's not like he'd know what he'd be missing.
"I'm lonely," he confesses, and it's not what he meant to say, but the words pour out of him like they've been waiting for a chance to escape. "I'm always around all these people I don't know and I feel like I can never be myself and I miss that and you, Jin, you--" he takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself, his voice wavering with uncertainty he doesn't like to show. "Jin, you make me feel like myself again. And it's... it's been a long time since I've felt that way."
Jin's still staring at him when he finishes rambling, but when Yamapi glances up at him, he's met with a gaze that's more surprised than mistrusting. Jin doesn't look like he's ever been on the receiving end of such an outburst before, doesn't look like he knows what to do with it, and Yamapi feels even more embarrassed, if that's even possible. It feels like a century of uncomfortable silence passes between them, and Yamapi's about to throw out some excuse to retreat to his room again, but finally, Jin bends down, and surprises him with a kiss.
"I think you're overestimating me," Jin says as he pulls back, and when Yamapi meets his eyes, he feels like Jin's being honest with him. He really, really needs to stop putting so much trust into Jin, but there's something so clear and innocent in his eyes, he can't help it. "But... I guess if you really want to--"